Whether anyone reads this or not, I write for myself because when something
touches my heart, I firmly believe it's one of the ways God speaks. I
wish I would write those touches down more often because God tells us to
remember what He's done for us. And without writing things down I don't
remember much these days of sliding down the other side of the proverbial
hill!!
This quote spoke to me this morning. As I look at it again this Easter
week, I think of the absolute suffering Jesus endured for us. It's
unfathomable.
And yet, I look at so many suffering in this world - my friend in a
wheelchair who has been in the hospital for almost 5 months who is finally
going home to two children as a single parent. I think of another friend
who has been out of town at another hospital over 6 months,having experimental
bone marrow tests to try and save both of her children who have a disease that
most children die of by the age of 10. And to watch their sufferering from the
grueling rounds of chemo and other meds they are also using. I
think of yet another friend who just celebrated her son's 23rd birthday, even
though he's been gone for 2 years, having had a AVM rupture in his brain at age
10 - AND she's celebrating that, even while caring for her severely autistic 16
year old. Another is a grandmother to 3 beautiful children who lost their
mother a year ago to cancer, watching her son go through this loss with grace
and thankfulness for having had his wife for the time he had her.
But they have what Jesus didn't - they have HIM in their hearts. Jesus
was entirely separated from the sweetness He was used to in complete oneness
with His Father as He bore our sins on the cross, SO THAT my friends - and I -
can have His Spirit to walk through any crosses we are called to bear.
We all have crosses in this life. We can all think of our own sufferings
along the way in this broken world. Jesus said clearly,"In this
world there will be trouble." Paul had a thorn which God didn't take
away, even though He asked repeatedly for it to be gone, but accepted in
order to keep himself humble. Jesus also said, "Take up your cross
and follow Me."
These friends are ones I have been so blessed to watch navigate their own
Golgothic hills, their own Via Deloroses. These friends are the ones I
watch walk their tragic roads with dignity and grace, and FAITH - dependent on
the Holy Spirit. They don't hide their grief that must be
expressed. But they always REMEMBER that God is with them. Jesus
has rescued us from complete separation from the Father, and gives us our own
promise of Easter whether on this earth or the next. Walking those roads
ahead are unfathomable - but walking those roads with His Spirit are doable,
even if still grueling.
It gives me an amazing peace even as I contemplate the road ahead of me -
not borrowing trouble - but wondering what I will find out from the neurologist
I've been sent to with orders to see him STAT because of an
"abnormal" MRI. It showed a severe sinus infection which may be
all it is. But the inablity to be steady on my feet, trouble with my
eyesight lately, a tremor that has changed my handwriting to be not
recognizable as mine, joint stiffening to the point where I was recently
on crutches for a week, having torn my miniscus in my knee...all point to the
distinct possibility of something more.
And yet... I feel an amazing peace that I've LEARNED over the years of God
whispering things to me from His Word, from my friends, and from my experiences
in the past that I sought for peace but didn't always find it. I used to
look at the verse where Paul said he had LEARNED to be content in plenty and in
want - and thought to myself how impossible that is. But now I get to see
that impossible MIRACLE, yes MIRACLE of the peace that passes understanding.
I've seen it in those who suffered for the sake of the gospel in the Bible, I
see it in my friends who are walking very, very difficult roads, and I see it
in myself as I ready myself to possibly walk a hard road also. BUT now I
have LEARNED from many other roads with bumps along the way, that I can if I
have to becaue of who I walk with.
As the old hymn says, Because He lives I can face tomorrow.
And feel the pride and the joy that he gives
Oh but greater still, the calm assurance
We can face uncertain days because He lives
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth a living just because He lives
I'll fight life's final war with pain
And then as death gives way to victory
I'll see the lights of…
